Pregnancy Update: 30 Weeks

I can't believe we are three quarters of the way there!

She is sticking her rear out in this picture, hence the slightly irregular shaped bump.

How far along? 30 weeks and 4 days

Due Date: September 23rd

Maternity Clothes: I'm wearing some maternity clothing and some regular clothing. A lot of my loose tops still fit (like the shirt in this picture). I can still fit comfortably in one pair of pre-pregnancy jeans (although they don't button, obviously). I wear a lot of T-shirts and gym shorts.

Stretch marks? Not on my stomach...keep your fingers crossed that I survive unscathed!

Sleep: What is that? Haha, I might get four hours of sleep a night. I like sleeping on my right side, but baby girl hates it and squirms until I move. Don't worry, I make up for it with 20 minute (more like 3 or 4 hour) naps a few times a week.

Miss Anything? Nothing that I'd trade for this whole experience. Although, now that you mention it, I would love a turkey sub and a Mexican dish with queso (lunch meat and unpasteurized cheese are two no-no items). And I can't wait to be able to sleep on my stomach again.

Movement: Um yeah, she's wild already! She likes to stick her butt out, kick her legs, and dog-paddle with her arms. She moves a lot when Nick talks to her and right after I drink anything cold.

Food cravings: Nothing that I didn't like before. A few items are definitely taking center stage currently though: apples, applesauce, apple juice (notice a pattern?), tomatoes and cucumbers, carrots, tortilla chips and salsa, sharp cheddar cheese.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Mainly just the heat. 

Gender: Baby Girl

Symptoms: Not too many. A few headaches and some third trimester nausea a few times a week. I'm not exhausted all the time, but I am definitely moving at a slower pace these days. Getting up off of the couch or floor is difficult, but I'm still pretty flexible (I can still put my hands flat on the floor in front of me, and I can almost get my feet behind my head). 

Exercise: I'm exercising 4 times a week on average. I either get up early and walk a three mile loop before it gets hot, or I complete a pregnancy workout dvd that includes cardio and weights (this dvd is no joke - think tons of squats, lunges, tricep extensions, lat pull downs, high kicks, etc.)

Belly Button: Half in, half out

Rings: Still on, my hands only swell after long walks in the heat.

Happy or Moody: Happy :)

Pregnancy Pet Peeve: I know it's sweet, but elderly people in public act like I am disabled or something. People always tell me to go home and sit down. The other day when I was in line holding peanut butter and eggs, the lady in front of me said, "Put your things down, rest your hand!" I may be "in delicate condition", but I'm not going to break! People do hold doors for pregnant women and let them pass them in the grocery line, so those are two perks. Oh, and any rude or insensitive comments. The baby is getting big, not me!

Best Moment this Week: I assembled her dresser all by myself and it looks great! Also, my iron has been low throughout my pregnancy, and as of this week it is back on track, which I am thankful for.

Looking forward to: Our shower this Saturday! And meeting our little girl, of course! I really want to know what she looks like. Nick had a head full of hair, but I was bald until I was two, so who knows?

What is baby up to? She is practicing breathing by filling her lungs with amniotic fluid. Little girl is almost constantly on the move, and is already head down (she's smart like that). She can blink, suck, grasp, and flex all of her joints. She can hear voices and jumps in response to loud noises (dogs barking). She does not like ice packs (if her feet are under my ribs, this will get her to move them away). She also has the hiccups almost everyday lately, which is pretty comical. Her lungs and bowels are in the final stages of development, and she is starting to gain weight (she's about 2.5 pounds, and will likely gain between 4 and 6 more).

My Thoughts on Pregnancy After a Miscarriage (x2)

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.”
 – 1 Samuel 1:27

I have been planning to write on this topic for a while now, but life has been moving quickly and I haven’t been able to find the words. Today it feels as though the entire world is at a standstill and I can’t think of anything else. There are things I just need to say. If this helps just one person cope with some form of grief and know that she/he is not alone, then it has served a purpose. Not a day goes by that this is not on my mind, and I pray that some good can come of it for someone. My faith plays a large role in my life, and is heavily discussed in this post. That being said, if you have negative comments on the subject, please keep them to yourself.

I don’t even know where to begin except to say that I miss my babies. It doesn’t matter that I haven’t met them, or how short lived their time was. The loss of a miscarriage and the grief that accompanies it is something no one can accurately express, and its effects are far reaching.

Fear

I prayed and prayed that God would bless us with another baby, and He has. While I am overjoyed to be carrying this growing life within me, it does not mean I have not been absolutely terrified everyday for the past 26 weeks. Fear is a powerful thing. At first I had a very hard time even being happy about this pregnancy because I did not want to have my heart broken again.

It’s funny how your perspective changes during a time like this. I have felt very sick for most of my pregnancy, but everyday I take it as a sign that my baby girl is growing healthy and strong. In fact, the day before my twelve week appointment I felt very good, and I was a wreck because I just knew it meant something was wrong. For the first seventeen weeks I felt physically miserable around the clock, but with each day I became more confident that it is God’s will for this baby to live and live abundantly.  When this little girl started to move I was so excited. On days when she was less active and her movements were faint, fear crept back inside. God’s word says that we should not be afraid.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” 
– Isaiah 41:10

There are several songs which are popular on Christian radio right now that I heard almost every morning and afternoon during my commute to school, and the lyrics have stuck with me during some of the more difficult moments I have faced.  One song is titled “All of Me” by Matthew Hammitt, and there is a specific line that comes to mind: "I'll trade the fear of all that I could lose for every moment shared with you."

One thing that has helped is how extremely active she is. My midwife comments on this at every appointment. This little girl is full of life and she certainly makes her presence known.

Even though she is right here, disrupting my sleep and pushing my internal organs aside, sometimes I get scared that this is all a dream. I worry that one day I will go to the doctor and she will say, “JUST KIDDING!” I know, though, at the end of the day, that I cannot let fear from past experiences steal the joy and love this little girl deserves, nor can I allow it to diminish the joy and love God is sharing with me through her. How very, very much I love her already.

Questions

Besides fear, there are always questions.  The most obvious one is, “Why?” Why even start these lives and not allow them to come to fruition? I know that sometimes there is no specific medical cause, and that this is quite common, but it does not make it any less painful or easier to deal with. Since there is nothing I can do to change the past, I try to think of the positive things coming from these experiences. I am thankful for the extra time Nick and I have had to grow as people and as husband and wife. I know no one can do anything to deserve a miscarriage (or two), and I certainly would never wish this experience on my worst enemy, but a part of me wonders what I did that God would have me deal with this.

The truth is that it’s not about anything I did. It is preparing me for something very important: motherhood. I know that each milestone will be an occasion for celebration, and every moment and memory will be even more sweet. I hope that knowing what I have missed out on with those two babies will help me relish the day to day changes that will come all too quickly for this little girl.

I like to think that Nick’s mom and my grandmother are playing with our two sweethearts in heaven and taking care of them until we get there one day. Nick’s mom would be such an amazing grandmother. They never dealt with any of the troubles of this world, and I suppose they weren't meant to. There is so much I want to say to them. I hope they know how much I love them.  I hope they know who I am. I hope they will recognize me when I get there.

I have always wanted three children. I wonder if these are my three: two in heaven and one here. I wonder if I will only get to experience these kicks and wiggles once. If this is the only earthly child God has in store for me, she will be extremely special and more than enough. I pray that we will have an unspeakable, unbreakable bond, and that she will need me as much as I need her.

Understanding and Healing

“As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.” 
-Ecclesiastes 11:5

It is hard accepting the fact that I will never understand. But it’s okay. I don’t need to understand. That’s why He is God and I am not. I know that he is holding me close each and every day, molding me for a purpose, just as he is doing with this little baby. She does not yet understand what is taking place around her, but she is safe and full of life, and so am I.

Healing does not come from understanding. It comes from choosing to live the life you have been given, not aimlessly but with intention. It comes from knowing things will get better. It comes from God and time, and it does not come all at once.

“The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer.” 
– Psalms 6:9

I know that I will never forget and never fully let go of these memories, but bit by bit God is rebuilding my heart to make it stronger than ever before for. He is preparing me for whatever the future holds.

A Miss or a Mister?

Hello all! Things have been a bit crazy around the Byler house. The school year is quickly coming to a close (insert the hallelujah chorus) and this baby and my midsection are growing by leaps and bounds. We recently had a reveal party to tell some of our family and friends the sex of the baby. The party was on April 28th, so the invitations were football themed to coincide with the NFL draft, which took over our lives for several weeks. I'm learning a lot about football from Nick and I'm enjoying being able to discuss one of his biggest interests. Neither of my Panthers shirts fit anymore though, boo :( .

Had to cover up our address, we wouldn't want any creepers!

Nick bought a smoker for the occasion (he's been wanting one forever) and the results were fabulous! There was a lot of delicious food to be had, and of course, wonderful family and friends to share the fun with. 

THE smoker. I recently have started couponing for  charcoal as a result, ha.

My favorite part was the He or She chocolate bars for making s'mores.

We decided to bake a cake with either pink or blue inside to reveal the baby's sex.

Tara and The Plumber from sweetpeaandchocolate were in attendance.
That's P's sippy cup in the bottom of the picture.

When we cut into it, everyone found out that we are expecting....A GIRL!!!

My mom is really excited about her first grandbaby and Nick's sister is pumped about finally having another girl in the family (she grew up with three rough and tumble brothers, poor soul).

My mom, me, Nick, and Nick's dad. We are blessed to have them.

We can't wait to meet this little sweetheart in September!!!

Nick says her head is shaped like mine (by that, he means she has a big noggin). We shall see!

Fun Thursday with the Spouse!

1) We went to our second prenatal appointment at 10:30. I forgot that they would need to take a urine sample, so I went right before we left the house. They only got about two drops but they said it was enough (sigh of relief). Our midwife Beverly is awesome! I was really nervous about her finding the heartbeat at this appointment. She found it within about five seconds at said everything sounded great. The heart rate was 145 bpm, done from 176 bpm at our last appointment. I'm still immune to chicken pox and German measles (good to know since I am surrounded by children all day at work), and I also got to find out my blood type. All seems well except for my iron being a little low. She suggested lots of red meat and green leafy vegetables. That won't be a problem because you certainly do not have to twist my husband's arm when it comes to steak - he always finds the best cuts and grills them better than I have ever had in any restaurant. Oh, I also might have to do the 24 hour urine collection test (boo) but I'm not going to worry about that until it gets here.

I really don't want to tote one of these around for 24 hours. We'll see what happens.

2) Nick and I ventured to downtown Charlotte to run an errand...but first we stopped at Hasaki Grill and Sushi for lunch. We both had hibachi steak with mushrooms, rice, and glazed carrots - divine! Nick was really excited to take me to Hasaki because he helped plumb this restaurant. While we were eating he showed me some pictures on his phone of what the property looked like while it was being remodeled...what a difference! I am so proud of my husband and I'm glad that he finds satisfaction in his work. We enjoy visiting restaurants that he has worked on once they are finished, and this is definitely one of my favorites so far. He's currently helping add a wing onto a hospital...doubt we'll eat there when the project is complete, haha.

Hasaki Grill and Sushi - Corner of South Church Street and Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd, go get you some!

3) Now for the all-important errand...we picked up our car seat and stroller today! We pre-ordered them from Babies R Us this weekend. We decided the Baby Trend Expedition ELX Travel System in Everglade. I have been searching for car seats with extra neck support to protect from side impact collisions, and we also knew we wanted something neutral that we can hopefully reuse with younger siblings down the road. I have had my eye on this set for a while but Nick was not on board - he thought three wheel strollers looked weird. Our friend Tara at Sweet Pea & Chocolate recently purchased this stroller in black and took it to the park this weekend. When Nick saw how much easier it was to maneuver than a traditional four wheel stroller (we were playing frisbee golf along a trail in the woods - think roots, stumps, and lots of hills) he was sold!

I think this will be just right!

Once we got home I inhaled half a cantaloupe...love warm weather and fresh produce! All in all we had a great day :)

Hello world...it's been far too long!

I'm so sorry I haven't posted in almost two months! No, I didn't die, it's actually been very lively around the Byler household. A lot has changed since my last post...

Shrimpy the Yolk Sac Man!

That's right, we are expecting!!!

I am currently at 12 weeks and 3 days! Our family and friends have known for about 3-4 weeks, but I've been waiting to share this news with the blog world at large. Also, hugging the toilet and hibernating like a grizzly bear have consumed a lot of my time lately, so blogging hasn't been a major priority. My due date is September 23rd, which means it is going to be a long, hot summer. Oh well, I'm pretty sure I'll just be so ecstatic to be out of school that I won't be concerned with the heat (for a little while, at least).

Anywho...as for the nickname "Shrimpy the Yolk Sac Man", I have a funny (well, I think it's funny) story to share with you. When we went to my first appointment and saw the ultrasound, the midwife said the baby was "curled up like a shrimp" (see picture above). During the car ride home we started referring to the baby as "Shrimpy". Later on in the day, my husband and I discussed how babies are able to recognize voices while in the womb (obviously not this early on). We talked about how we plan to sing and read for the baby before he or she is born. Nick proceeded to create his own little song on the spot, to the tune of Billy Joel's "Piano Man". He started saying, "I'll sing you a song, little yolk sac man..." (he is positive that we are having a boy - typical man). We both cracked up, and the nickname "Shrimpy the Yolk Sac Man" was born.

We are heading back to the doctor for our second prenatal visit tomorrow! I thought about waiting until after then to break the news, but I'm so excited right now that I just had to let it all out.

There are so many things I want to talk about right now, but I don't have the energy or finger muscles required to type a novel at this moment, so I'm going to make a list of topics while they are on my mind, and I will get around to writing a post on each of them eventually.

1) Pregnancy After a Loss (x2)...My Thoughts

2) Reactions to Our Announcement

3) Are We Having a Miss or a Mister? Our Opinions

4) Prenatal Visit #2

5) Hunger Games book vs. movie review (obviously not until after 3/23 - box office day)

6)What I'm Reading

There will definitely be tons of posts that are not pregnancy related, but this is mainly what's on my mind at the moment. I don't plan for this to become strictly a "baby blog", as some folks I follow have mentioned... however, this blog is about my life and my family, and this is the biggest thing going on for us right now. That being said, I don't feel a need to justify venting and sharing about this 9 month miracle rollercoaster. I will probably be asking lots of questions and listening for advice from you, so help me out! Once I finish discussing the topics listed above, I plan on doing a weekly pregnancy update post, as well as writing about most other happenings day to day.

Just to prove I have not been hiding under a rock for the past two months, here are some pics of what else has been going on. Oh, I'm going to go ahead and apologize for the poor picture quality. My camera is almost six years old, but we are saving up for the baby, so for now I'm just going to work with what I have.

The birthday boy with his cake. Funfetti, of course!

Loving on a sick, sad puppy...

...Same dog, loving life after a trip to the park :)

   

    

Warm weather brings out the grill master in my husband...yum! (We've grilled out several times recently but my other pics don't want to post.)

Okay, I'm off to fold laundry...fun fun - NOT- and then I think I'm going to hit the sack. 

This momma is tired!